I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!!!! I was so overjoyed with all the Deus art I went looking through my other oc's galleries to make me more happy and remembered the adorable keychain I got of Joseph and just thought to check the artist who made her out again... YOU WOULDN'T IMAGINE MY OVERWHELMING DELIGHT TO REALIZE HE IS DOING ANOTHER CHARM BATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's candy themed like a little candy bag with your oc in it, it's the most adorable thing I've seen!!!!!! AND I was just in time to find it too, since that was the last day for sign-ups for the batch!!!!! :) Of course after all the amazing Deus joy, I had to get a cute charm of her so I put in my request for the 
waitlist!!!!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really hope I'm picked as part of the batch again, a candy bag charm of Deus would make me sob!!!!!!! SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! and he's doing ANOTHER charm batch after this candy bag one of your oc under a kotatsu charm so I'm 100% getting that with RPS!!!!! So then all my main three will have personal charms aside from the YCH charm/standees on my shelf!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JOY FORVEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every other month I remember I have a diary I can write in and vent all my feelings into without having to explode IRL LOL!!! Anyway, enough negativity in my life!!!! ONLY JOY FOREVER AND LOVE AND MILLIONS OF RAINBOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First great news, my ankle has healed and I have been on a blessed road to recovery since!!!!!! I can walk again and can even kneel, go up and down stairs, run, hop, and everything I missed!!! ALL WITHOUT PAIN!!!!! I'm so insanely happy about it, thank you to my doctor and God for guiding the surgery team and giving them the wisdom to heal me :)!!
OKAY!!!!! MORE FUN NEWS!!! Ignore the fact I said I left the Featured Character server like two diary posts ago LOL!! I ended up going back because I 1. needed something to do since Artfight was over, and I was NOT going to start making fandom crap and go on tumblr or *shivers* Bluesky/X/Twitter. LMFAO. I really do love drawing other people's ocs but I'm too shy about doing surprise gift art and dming people. I feel a weird guilt when I've tried LOL like I'm somehow begging for art but I'M NOT i promiseies. But I seriously love the oppurtunity Artfight gives so I can draw people's ocs without feeling bad!!! And FC does the same thing, except instead of lasting only a month and having an annoying controversy every year apparently, it lasts ALL YEAR!!!!!!!! and the staff and community are so nice and welcoming :)!!!! Everything about the entry process is so lovely!!!!! There's no revenges or obligations or commitment, you just get to draw the FC if you want to and if you don't want to, then nothing bad happens, I LOVE IT!! I was having a really bad break when I left, but I'm so happy I convinced myself to join back LOL!!! I really didn't care or expect to win, I mainly play because I love to draw people's ocs (bonus points if I get to draw lore stuff or relationships, my favorites!!!!) but surprise, surprise........ I WON!!!
Honestly, I was so scareds when I realized I won LOL IDK WHY!!! I was so just so scared LOL!! I also never realized how hard doing thank you's are oh my gosh... so many to do, and I have to sound original for each one! I've no idea how others manage such long and unique thank yous when they win??? Like I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED every single piece I got, I actually legitiamtely cried a bit because I was so overwhelmed with joy at seeing so much art of my little guy at once, but I'm so bad at putting it into words.... like how do I turn "a million rainbows YAY forever" into anything coherent :/? Ended up doing doodles as a bonus with my thank yous which was fun! I got to draw a lot of ocs I've been eyeing ^__^ and draw ones I didn't realize would be fun to draw, so it's like I got a fun practice out of my win YIPPEEEEEEEEE Already uploaded eveyrhting to my toyhouse and I can't stop looking at it all, it just makes me so happy I wanna cry all over again... sniff sniff... sobsobb Funny thing is that he's not even my top favorite oc of mine [everyone say hi joseph okay HI JOSEPH :)], I jsut love his design and the lore I've been thinking up for her :) She's like Mario to me in a way you would never understand okay? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had a beautiful dream that I've been having repeatedly finally come to an end last night. So it starts with me as a detective investigating some hospital or whatever, I'm trying to figure out who's scamming or stealing something bla bla. Whoever it is is a professional with connections, so it's incredibly difficult to not only figure out who she is but to get to her and also capture her. Anyway, I've been having this dream pop up every now and then and I ALWAYS manage to scrape my way to her when she's doing her final escape. The problem is that's an incredibly fast quick-time event, like frame perfect bs. AND I ALWAYS MESS IT UP! Until last night.
Last night was so beautiful, instead of doing everything by myself, I had a friends and family working with me to help me. Instead of scraping by and frustrating myself, we actually uncovered who it was so quickly. I mean, I'm talking everyone had a unique skillset to help me out in a specific situation in which I usually had to find work-arounds. It was insane. We even ended up uncovering one of her top coinspirators who tried to warn us lmfao, but we brushed her off. And finally when the escape happened again, I was legitemantlly mentally prepping myself for the QTE.
Omfg. It was sincerely too easy this time, like sickeningely easy. Usually I have to stress out, but this time? My friends did a majority of the work getting her, all I had to do was just detain her with the cuffs. ACTUALLY INSANE HOW EASY IT WAS. I WAS SO SHOCKED, I REMEMBER I PAUSED MY DREAM TO EVEN SEE IF THAT WAS REAL. And omg, never let me become a seasoned detective trying to crack a case, because I TAUNTED AND MOCKED HER SOOOOOO BAD. LIKE I WAS REMINDING HER OF HER CHILDHOOD, HER RISE TO THE TOP, HER DOWNHILL, EVERYTHINGGGGGG. IT WAS HORRENDOUSSS. OMG, AND HER LITTLE SECRETARY WHO WAS IN ON IT? WE GOT HER TOO OMFG. I think I got this dream cuz I was watching Amanda the Adventurer 2, and tbh that game makes me so incredibly upset for what happened to Amanda and her father, like I don't even bother with theories mentioning Amanda as bad, like got to hell!
I'm pretty sure this is the Lord's way of telling me I should stop burdening all my goals and problems on just my self to solve, and trying to show me how easy it is when I let people in. And tbh, He is right. I'll try to take it more into practice. It was a crazy way to learn but tbh, first person is always best lol.
Other dreams that night were fine. I dreamt I was in college and first time, instead of wallking normally like I usually do in my dreams, I had my scooter lol. Another dream was super creepy, and I blame this awful steamed Hams vid I watched that gave me it. It wasn't even a nightmare, just a bug in Cookie Run that freaked me out and made me forever hate Candy Corn Cookie lol. That's all :P
HM! WELL... I had a nice birthday, and an okay August, and then I broke my ankle and everything since then has been awesome! NOT!!!!! I won't go into too much detail but I will just say, certain people have been making my road to recovery LITERAL HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like it does not click in anyone's brain that I am down a leg and cannot do have the shit I used to do LOL! Not to mention, I've playing ovenbreak more often to get away from it all a bit (and whaling too, sue me!!!) and my god! It's like no one at devsis plays their game! It sucks to do anything! Even whaling gets you nowhere because half the arenas in guild run are all legendaries! And the rare combis in those arenas don't even make an inch in comparison to their legend combis, making it useless to max them! Only fun arena is arena 12 since I like the strategy and it's fun to run, but we get it in a literal blue moon. Compared to Arena 8 and Arena 5 which won't stop popping up smile. Nothing much to say. I tried out featured chararacter to see if I would like it and give myself something to do during recovery, but Idk, it's kinda not for me. Ended up just leaving it and other servers, and hiding most of my socials LOL! Really hoping my ankle heals up soon, I need to go on a drive and scream, being kept up at home or forced on drives has been... horrible. lol... Only nice is thing is I splurged a bunch on Nanami stuff to make myself feel better and it worked ^_^! I love making my nanami collection grow :P
LOOK AT MY LITTLE BUDDY WAAAAAAAAA SHE CAME IN TODAY UNEXPECTEDLY AND MADE MY DAY!!!!! I LITERALLY GOT HER TRACKING NUMBER LIKE TWO DAYS AGO AND SHE'S HEREEEE!!!!! gonna buy some takeout and rewatch my fav episodes to feel better since today was kinda shitty and lame plus it rained LMFAO what a day!
Unfortunately, they weren't kidding, going outside and talking to friends really DOES make you feel better or at least me LOL! Felt just awful and nihlistic the past few days, and one nice outing had me remembering why I ended up like that, and feeling hopeful! I've even thought of some solutions to some issues I've been dealing with. yay! Also, trying to stress myself out less on here! I deleted my tumblr because I hated the expectations I was forcing upon myself (drawing more fanart in favor of likes and reblogs instead of oc content), and well now, I'm doing it again here, except the audience is invisible XD!! I keep second guessing stuff I wanna upload like am I being cringe rn... WHO CARES!!!!! This is my site omfg... I can do what I want forever. Doesn't help that weird drama keeps happening here, usually I wouldn't care because I have profiles like those blocked or I don't even follow them in the first place, but now I'M getting followed by those annoying sites and it's like??? At least on tumblr, weird drama was confined to fandoms and I never joined any, and they weren't following ppl to get attention omfg... what a place this is! I'll just hide my profile again if it gets really annoying I suppose LAWL whatever I'm going to draw Mario again, she makes me so happy and I miss him a lot. Also, it's pride month so yay! Everyone say happy pride month to Mario :3!!!
okkkkk reminder to switch from guestbook i think? apparently its shutting down WAAA, also reminder to archive my guestbook page when i get up.. id put this in my updates on my home page but i have this open rn and im lazy LOL!! also reminder to update neighbor page when i open medibang... now closing neocities for peace of mind of whatever is going on that doesnt involve me, love and peace in the world for me forever hart
thoughhhh on better news, im going to watch wind breaker :3!!! ive been needing something new to watch ever since i finished mashle, speaking of which reminds me i need to recode my fav movies/shows page so i can add my thoughts on it SPOILER: I LOVED IT XD
devsis when i catch you for this 😑
a bad bitch stays looking towards the future!! and an ugly one will seethe in the swamp, shout out to the queen, the stallion, for teaching me that one!
whoever wrote (Order!) Cookie Court of Justice: The Final Verdict! Chapter Strange Suspiscions 1 needs their PAYYYYYYYYMENTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!! good lord theres no other writing like it, u wouldnt get it, its like the recreation of the alexandrias library or whatever to me, its art. cappuccino cookie does what miles 'unneccsary feelings' edgeworth COULD NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kinda really want to change themes around here now that my mario fixation is winding down but its gonna be such a pain in the ass LOL... and i rlly like my princess peach diary page but idk, like i like the theme but theres a monkey in my brain itching to change things up and i still have to set up my oc pages WAGH nightmare nightmare....
girls when they have to relearn code because they took a two month break from coding ← sobbing, not rlly but you know!!!! I do have plans to update things around here, still really like my site hehe so thats nice!! ^__^ 100% going to work on my oc page, I know how to revamp it, but idk if my plans are possible with html and css but we ball so okay!!! Feel like I missed the time to make my layout cute and wintery, but I updated it anyway, I like it :3!! ok bye now
b4 i forgot since im on the subject, i will say that as much as i like neocities for the oppurtunities to make my own site, one thing i do nawt like at all about is the followers/following function of this whole thing. i rlly wish it was more like tumblrs functioning of followers/following and making that stuff PRIVATE!!!
i feel like follower counts is one of the biggest reasons that makes social media upsetting to use and just kind of sucks that neocities also has it. i dont mind following and people following me, i love that! i just dont like it being on display and seeing others on display too, especially that new follower message that sits on the top of EVERY SINGLE neocities page 😭 even twitter didnt have that girl CMON!
i know i can turn off my neocities profile and just have my site, but thats not what i want rlly :/, i enjoy commenting on pages and seeing who follows me and following people, its just like i said, i wish it was private like how tumblr has it set up, so it feels like everyone is on an even ground. probably my one and only gripe with neocities SIGHHH oh well, ill probably figure out one day how to hide it personally with a firefox add-on or something, its just something i heavily dislike and forgot when i was busy praising neocities LOL
ok well i lied, i guess ill use this RAAAAA instead of posting my thoughts on tumblr maybe idkkkkk. i just dont want this my poor code to go to waste, but i just dont see myself using this as a diary often hmmm...... ok i might use it like a blog and post my writings here i suppose hm okay! but anyway im watching jumanji, the one with dwayne johnson LOL! just had to complain somewhere how angry i am over how much the "modern web" sucks massive dick -_____-
idk if i get to say i grew up with the old web like i mean, i never used skype or myspace or uhhh.. *glancing at smudged ink on hand* vine........... i didnt even know what myspace was until i got around more neocities communities and ppl kept mentioning it, so i do feel a bit silly every now and again on my site since its not like i understand the nostalgia others have for the old web BUTTTTT i do understand the upset ppl have for modern web.
i use to be on tumblr A LOT since i was like 10 or whatever and its still my main social media of choice today, but watching it break down since then is just annoying LOL, i cant stand the site. if its not the ANNOYING as shit invasive ads on mobile, its the ugly UI or the new stupid tumblr live and the shop like WHO CARES!!!!! hold on jack blacks doing CPR T54^$%^$%&$%gfDG ok back to this, tumblr sucks balls and so does discord too.
ive used discord for a WHILE, like when classic nitro was ACTUALLY good, but now it sucks. the mobile vers. is broken, nitro sucks now like my god NO NIGGA I AM NOT paying $10 to have an icon gif, i can do that on toyhou.se and artfight for freesies and i refuse to update my user, discrord will have to rip that shit from my dead hands. wont even begin on twitter, any time ive used it ive had to leave since it put me in such a hateful mindset and i had to leave. it just breeds such hate and nothing but arguments, but everyone knows that LOL so who gaf.
i just feel like ever since ive started actively using neocities, and doing whatever me feels like and not being restricted by paywalls, ive realized in contrast how much social media SUCKS DICK!! and the fact that it sucks sucks tbh!! hi dwayne. i dont have a conclusion to this LOL, i just realized how restrictive and annoying social media is compared to personal sites that is all. i dont like being restricted by ugly (tumblr) social medias and i dont like being restricted by broken (discord) social medias and both (twitter) ! and i dont like those being my only options, so what i am saying is that having my own site kind of rules yippeee i can do whatever i want and put whatever i want and put up pictures of all my favorite things in the world and theres no limit to stop me ← YIPPPEEEE ok bye forever
having a blog/diary thing on here doesnt rlly interest me, but if i didnt make a princess peach letter themed diary page i was gonna implode so here we are
